I have issues.
I haven’t unpacked it yet.
I have a bad habit of doing this. My nanny bag that I used to carry to work that I last used the day before I was admitted into the hospital to have Quinn over a year ago still has stuff from then in it. Handbags hold receipts and lipstick, business cards and sticks of gum. My bags serve as little museums of my life. I love finding little trinkets of the past to remind me of fun things we did. Or maybe I think if I unpack the bag the trip is really over? That’s probably more like it.
We had an amazing time in Florida.
We came back from our first vacation as a family floating on a cloud. We left late at night to drive home and hit horrible storms. We slept in a rest area parking lot for a few hours. The rain was so bad but it was very cozy curled up with my little family. It took us 11 hours total to go 450 miles with all of the stopping to sleep/wait out the storms.
We got home and Matt left for work like normal. He came back through the door an hour later with bad news.
His job is changing. This change includes a massive pay cut. If you weren’t already reading along, we aren’t rolling in the dough. We took this vacation with part of our tax return. Coming home to this news of course made me second guess the decision to splurge on a vacation, but we couldn’t have known this would happen. Anyway. After the amazing trip we had we weren’t prepared for that news. We did a lot of
agonizing talking about what to do next. Quinn learned a new 2 syllable word (Asshole, probably because we’ve called Matt’s boss that for 2 weeks straight).
I hate change. I like feeling settled and I like knowing what’s next. I realize how ridiculous that sounds because who ever really knows. We had just signed another lease. We had just bought new furniture and got Quinn’s Toy Corner all organized and set up.
But after much discussion we have decided that metro Atlanta probably isn’t the best place to raise a child. I love it here, but we’ve outgrown it. And we’re tired. It’s expensive and we’re tired of just making it when somewhere else could be easier on us financially. It’s obscene how much we pay for rent here. Really, all of Atlanta is very, very expensive.
This change in Matt’s job allows us the opportunity to move on. This gives me horrible anxiety, but it has to happen. So June, the month I turn 33, we are loading up and moving states. Not exactly sure where yet because nothing is set in stone except the fact that our lease is up here at that time, but it’s happening.
I have had several nights of waking up in a full panic about our uncertain future. When I panic about it, I just remember that I’m married to a strong, wonderful man who left his entire life behind an ocean away to spend his days with me. If he can take a leap of faith like that for me, surely I can leave behind my favorite apartment and see what adventures the future holds for us.
I’m overwhelmed with emotion when I think about leaving here, especially so soon and so not on “my” time. But nothing amazing has ever happened on “my” time. It’s all happened when I least expected it. Here’s to leaps of faith with the ones who matter the most!